Reshaping It All

This is the newest book I have been reading.  It is really good and not just a book about dieting and weight loss.  She talks about spiritual fitness and feeling great about the person God made you to be.  It is written by Candace Cameron Bure.  Miss DJ Tanner herself.
 






She talks about her struggles with food and how God and retraining her mind helped her get control back in her life.  I'm actually really surprised how good the book was and how much I got out of it.  I highly encourage you peeps to check it out.

Learning to Unlearn

An exert from In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson.

"Almost like a hard drive with a computer virus, our minds have infected files.  Irrational fears and misconceptions keep us from operating the way we were designed to.  And if those fears and misconceptions aren't installed, they undermine everything we do.

Half of learning is learning.  The other half of learing is unlearning.  Unfortunately, unlearning is twice as hard as learning.  It's like missing your exit on the freeway.  You have to drive to the next exit and then double back.  Every mile you go in the wrong direction is really a two-mile error.  Unlearning is twice as hard, and it often takes twice as long.  It is harder to get old thoughts out of you rmind than it is to get new thoughts into your mind.

That is the challenge Jesus faced, isn't it?

If you study the teachings of Christ, you'll realize that learning wasn't His primary goal.  His primary goal was unlearning.  He was reverse engineering religious minds.  And those can be the toughest minds to change.  That is why two phrases are repearted over andover again in the Sermon on the Mount.

'You have heard that is was said...'
'But I tell you...'

What was Jesus saying and doing?  He was uninstalling Old Testament concepts and upgrading then with New Testament truths.

'You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'  But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person.  If someone strikes you on the cheek, turn to him the other also.'  Matthew 5:38-39

...Half of spiritual growth is learning what we don't know.  The other half is unlearning what we do know.  And it is the failure to unlearn irrational fears and misconceptions that keep us from becoming who God wants us to be."

I related this to my fears of labor.  I had a lot of fear tied up in pain and the unknown.  It took me while to even recognize the fear that I was holding on to.  But once I did, God was able to reprogram my mind to trust Him and depend upon His understanding. 

I also find this true in my spiritual walk as well.  There were many concepts and 'rules' that I had to unlearn.  Being a christian is really simple.  Love God with all your heart and love others the same.  But sometimes we over complicate things, because of our humanity.  We make up "rules", because it makes us feel secure. When we should be finding our security in Christ and not "laws".   

Not Alone

I was reading my bible this morning and I came across this verse...

"Then your light will shine like dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal.  Your God will walk before you, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.  Then you will call out, and the Lord will answer.  You will cry out, and He will say, 'Here I am."  - Isaiah 58:8-9

It is so comforting to know that even before this labor comes or anything in life that God love me/us enough to go before us and prepare the way for us.  Before we ever get to where we are going, He already has the conditions perfect and ready for us.  Not only that, but He is there with us the whole time.  Never leaving us.  Always there to shield us from harm and to comfort us in times of weakness and trouble.  That is a great and loving God! I can't imagine going through all of this without Him.  I can't imagine being alive in this world without Him!

A Big God

Here is another great exert from the book I'm reading.

"Astronomers have spied on galaxies 12.3 billion light-years from earth.  To put that distance into perspective, consider the fact that light traveling 186,000 miles per second only takes eight minutes to travel the 93 million miles between the sun and planet earth.  Sunlight is only eight minutes old.  But light from the furthest galaxy takes 12.3 billion years to get here.  That distance is virtually incomprehensible!  And God says that is about the distance between His thoughts and our thoughts.......

'My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways,' declares the Lord.  'As the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.' - Isaiah 55:8-9

.....Your best thought about God on your best day falls 12.3 billion light years short of how great and how good God really is.  We underestimate God's goodness by at least 12.3 billion light-years.

You know what the greatest tragedy in life is?  It is someone whose god gets smaller and smaller with each passing day.

Maybe it's time to stop placing four-dimensional limits on God.  Maybe it's time to stop putting God in a box the size of your cerebral cortex.  Maybe it's time to stop creating God in your image and let Him create you in His. 

The more we grow the bigger God should get.  And the bigger God gets, the smaller our lions will become."

I know it's so easy for me to put God in a box and try to make Him what I want Him to be.  But when we do that we are limiting what He can do in our lives.  I know when I surrender completely to His will for me that only then do I experience True freedom in my life and my walk.

And I love what Mark said about trying to create God in our image.  Because isn't that what we all do.  We think of an old man (usually white) with a beard looking down on us from the clouds.  When God is so much more than that or that we could ever imagine.  I try my best to not think of an image when I think of God.  But think of love and peace and strength and qualities that He is.  The qualities that I want. 

And I know that God is pretty wonderful, but isn't it great to know that He is greater than we could ever imagine.  I mean sit and think for a second on how wonderful you think God is....take a few minutes.  And with all the brain power you have to think of His goodness, we still have a fracture of a clue of how great He is.  I tell you what, I am not going to miss Heaven.  Because if God is as great as all this, I've got to meet this person in all His glory.  That is definitely an eternity I want!!

The God of Infinite Time and Space

I'm really lovin' this book I'm reading...'In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day' by Mark Batterson.  Here is an exert that I especially loved....probably, because of all the science references.

"It's almost as if God forms a parenthesis in time and a parenthesis in space around us.  He is hovering all around you all the time.

Let me try to put it in scientific terms.  The shortest possible time is 10^ (-43) seconds.  It is called Planck time.  Any shorter and quantum mechanics can't tell whether events are simultaneous.  The shortest possible distance is 1.6 x 10^ (-35) meters.  It's called Planck length.  Any shorter and quantum mechanics can't distinguish between here and there.

And that's where God comes in.  He's in the space and the time that, according to quantum mechanics, doesn't exist. 

To infinite human beings, time and space seem infinite, but that is because we're on the inside looking out.  God is on the outside looking in.  Time and space are a finite part of His creation.  That's why 'a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.'  God is all around us all the time.  He is right before, right after, right ahead, and right behind.  God has no dimensional limitations, and if we could wrap our minds around that truth, it would transform our outlook on life." 

I still don't understand how most scientist don't believe in God.  When I studied at Texas State (and even now when I think about it all) it only confirms my convictions about God and His superiority.  I don't understand how everything in our bodies can work so perfectly (most of the time without our conscious even being aware) and people still believe that it was just all evolution.  Not that I am saying evolution doesn't exist.  I know I'm not descended from an ape, but I believe that God orchestrated evolution for His own purposes. 

It's funny how us humans try over and over to disprove God with 'our' science, when in fact we are just proving God more and more.  Who do we think created all this after all? Random chance....now that sounds far fetched  to me.

Hope you all have a Happy Easter!!

Why I love Mayim Bialik

Mayim Bialik is an actress who has made some not-normal-to-society choices in her and her family's life.  She has really inspired me to try new things and not just buy something, because Target said it was the number one toy for infants.  There is a link to her blog on The Today Show here if you want to learn more about her:  here.  I don't agree with all of her opinions.  But her opinions aren't why I love her.  I love her, because she isn't afraid to be different.  And she has taken such a leading role in helping others get information that wasn't out there a year or two ago.

People always think that Noah and I are weird, because of the choices we have made in our lives including our choices with our baby.  We are OK with this.  I've never expected people to agree with us or understand completely.  And I shouldn't.

We plan on having a home birth with a midwife without any medical intervention, whatsoever.  We are going to home school our kids.  I am going to breastfeed our babies.  We are going to use cloth diapers (I can feel some of your cringing at this one).  We choose not to have health insurance (unless the Lord changes our mind, which is OK).  We plan to not take prescription medicine.  We treat most ailments holistically.  We eat as raw and organic as we can.  We plan to not vaccinate our children.    We make a conscious effort to not base our life or decisions off of other people or fear, but on God's convictions and guidance on our life.  I think most of you would agree with us on the last one.

I'm not saying that what we are doing is the best thing or that you are wrong. This is just what we believe is the best way for us to live.  It's as simple as that!  I'm not going to push my beliefs on other people when it comes to our life choices.  I truly believe most people really do what they think is best for their children and themselves.  And while I don't want them judging me, I need to respect their decisions and be supportive as well.

We don't do these things just to be "different" or because its becoming "popular", like some have labeled our actions.  We research everything for ourselves, pray thoroughly, and do what we think is right for us.  And we are always open to God changing our minds.  We try to be teachable in this way.

But, I do thoroughly believe that our American society has degraded in it's beliefs.  I, personally, think we depend too much on doctors and drugs to fix us.  God has opened my eyes in the past few years to ways of keeping us healthy with what He gave us on this Earth.  Don't get me wrong though, if I have a migraine or a really bad headache, I'm going take some Midol.  We aren't completely against medicine. 

I just think everything should be done with an educated decision and in moderation, not because someone else told me to.  Sometimes when I make decisions, if I'm really honest with myself and search my heart I'm making a decision based on someone else's feelings or expectations of me.  And I don't want to live my life that way, because then I'm not really living my life.  I'm just letting lions chase me.

Called to be a Lion Chaser

Taking Brenda's advice I have prayed and found a scripture that really speaks to me for this labor:

"There was also Benaniah son of Jehoiada, a valiant warrior from Kabzeel. He did many heroic deeds, which included killing two of Moab's mightiest warriors. Another time he chases a lion down into a pit. Then, despite the snow and slippery ground, he caught the lion and killed it. Another time, armed only with a club, he killed a great Egyptian warrior who was armed with a spear. Benaniah wrenched the spear from the Egyptian's hand and killed him with it." 2 Samuel 23:20-21

 I discovered it while reading a book called "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" by Mark Batterson.  My friend, Kristy, asked me to read this a long time ago.  So, I finally picked it up about a week ago and it said exactly what I needed to hear.

The back of the book read "What if the life you really want, and the future God wants for you, is hiding right now in your biggest problem, your worst failure....your greatest fear?"

Mark explains that Benaniah didn't run away from the lion, but chased it down.  Not only that, but it was snowing outside.  Not only that, but he chased the lion into a pit, jumped into the pit, and killed it with his bare hangs!  That lion is everything we fear.  And until we decide to chase it down and conquer it, it will be chasing us for the rest of our lives. 

The lion definintly had better odds than Benaniah.  The conditions were in the lions favor, but lion was the one who ran away.  God turned what could have been a big problem into a great resume for Benaniah to be later strategically positioned into the administration of David.

"..God is in the business of strategically positioning us in the right place at the right time...Most people would have seen the lion as a five-hundred pound problem, but not Benaniah...lion chasers are wired differently."  (Mark Batterson)

When I read this scripture, I had a five-hundred pound problem: Labor.  I had a lot of fear that was surrounding it.  After reading this, I realized that I do not need to fear it.  Not only that, but I realized that God was replacing my fear with trust and peace in Him.  This book really encouraged me to grab this opportunity that God was giving me to not only survive, but THRIVE!  Now I KNOW that I can do this and am 110% ready. 

"[God] is always using past experiences to prepare us for future opportunities.  But those God-given opportunities often come disquised as man-eating lions.  And how we react when we encounter those lion will determine our destiny.  We can cower in fear and run away from our challenges.  Or we can chase our God-ordained destiny by seizing the God-ordained opportunities....the greatest opportunities are the scariest lions." (Matt Batterson)

Choosing to see this labor as an opportunity to grow and show God's glory is not even an option for me now.  I know it's the only path to take.  I'm excited about the whole process and pray that God will be able to use me as a vessel to inspire others to be Lion Chasers of their destinies.  And one thing that we can all take comfort in knowing is that our God LOVES impossible odds!  So no matter what, all bets should be on us.



I heart Birthing Classes!

Yesterday was the last session of our birthing classes and I am so sad!  I really wanted them to last forever.  I really enjoyed the classes and especially the people, a lot more than I anticipated I would.  I learned so much in those classes.  Our instructor was Brenda Minica.  She is a birthing class instructor/educator and a doula.  You can find her website here, along with all her information.  She lives near Floresville off of Hwy 181.  I HIGHLY recommend everyone to take her birthing classes.  Especially if you are a first time parent-to-be. 

Brenda is a Christian for one.  So, all of our study and discussions were Christ-centered.  This is something that Noah and I were looking for and God has definitely blessed her with this as a ministry.  I know we felt ministered to as well as educated on pregnancy, labor, and baby care. 

We went through why we fear labor.  The fact that there is no need to fear anything, just trust in God.  We discussed where these fears could have come from, in order to tackle the real problem.  We talked about how Satan is the father of lies and fear, so we know any fear is a lie and is not of God.  As a christian we all know these Truths, but it is important to REALLY KNOW these Truths.  Do you understand what I'm saying?  We need to repeat the Truths of God to ourselves, write them on our hearts, live like we believe them!  This is something that I definitely needed to hear in order to truly give my fears to God.  I needed to let go!

It is not just fear we talked about.  But we learned so much information on the labor process and what to expect.  She even talked about the physiological side of it.  Which of course I love being a Biology major.  I always understand better and feel more confident when I know what is physiologically going on in my body.  It really helps me to relax more and let my body do what it needs to do to in order to get the job done.  Just her explaining the three different layers of the uterus and what they each do in labor helped me so much, I can't even explain.  I know that sounds weird for those of you who aren't science nerds like me.  But this helped me A LOT!

Our confidence going into labor has sky-rocketed and our fears have decreased significantly.  I know I wrote a blog about all the things I was fearful of, so y'all know what I was struggling with.  And through discussions, prayer, and scripture reading I feel that my fears have all but erased.  I feel God's peace about it all.  I have always had God's peace with having our baby at home, but now I have God's peace for the actually labor.  Which were to different things for me.  And there is no peace like God's peace!  Those of you who have experienced God's "perfect peace" (Isaiah 26:3) know what I mean when I say that.

I can't even tell you how much we learned through this whole process.  To me knowledge is power.  And I have gained so much knowledge about labor, my body, baby, and so on.  I definitely feel equipped to have this baby!  We feel like God has given us a huge toolbox of tools to use.  Like, so many tools we actually have options of tools to use.  I am so thankful for Him for bringing us to Brenda and for her obedience to God to do these classes.  This is a wonderful ministry that is sure to bless whoever attend.

One of the things Brenda said is that with everyone of her pregnancies/labor God has given her a scripture that has given her peace and trust in Him.  I had not found my scripture for this labor until last night.  When I read it, I just knew that God was speaking directly to me about this labor.  Here is the verse:

"There was also Benaniah son of Jehoiada, a valiant warrior from Kabzeel.  He did many heroic deeds, which included killing two of Moab's mightiest warriors.  Another time he chases a lion down into a pit.  Then, despite the snow and slippery ground, he caught the lion and killed it.  Another time, armed only with a club, he killed a great Egyptian warrior who was armed with a spear.  Benaniah wrenched the spear from the Egyptian's hand and killed him with it."  2 Samuel 23:20-21

Some, of you may be really confused how this is suppose to help me.  But I will explain all of that in the next blog!!  Stay tuned!

My Fears

I am on assignment to list my fears of the labor to come.  And then pray and give it all to God. So, I'm scared that.....

• the pains of labor will be too much or more than I anticipate
• I won't be able to relax my body for pain relief and for an easier labor
• I will be fearful in general (I'm afraid of being afraid)
• all the attention on me will bother me and hinder my labor process
• I may have to have a C-section or go to the hospital (this scares me the most)
• that I will be too worried or concerned about other people's comforts and feeling present than focusing on the labor process
• that I will hit a wall where I feel like I can't go on any further
• I will stress out if the baby doesn't come by the due date

And even now, I cry while writing this.  I don't know if its fear that I cry or shame for the fears that I have.  I know they are perfectly normal, but I guess I can't be strong Wonder Woman all the time.  And that's the part that bugs me the most, I think.  I've always thought of myself as a strong woman and going through all of this makes me realize how vulnerable I really am.  This is altogether not a bad thing, because it has really created a deep dependence in me for God and his strength and peace and comfort.  I have prayed more about fear and comfort now then in my whole life. 

So, God give me peace and comfort.  Teach me to meditate on your word that I might draw strength from it.  Help me to trust myself and this labor in your extremelly capable hands.  I know that you have a perfect time for this labor and I pray that I may surrener to it.  Thank you for giving me Noah! He has been a pillar of strength for me and I can't imagine going through this without him.  Thank you that he is a great man of God and I can always count on him for the Truth.  Thank you for both of our families being Christians and praying us through all of this. Their support has created a strong foundation for the success of this birth and child.  Thank you for all of your blessings now and to come.

In the Home Stretch

Woah, its been a while since I'v blogged, ok....

So I am 29 weeks this week and I have grown big time, like exponentially.  In about a month's time I became "you have a cute bump" to "big mama!".  The baby is kicking, punching, and moving around A LOT!  And my feet hurt when I've been walking around too much.  But I love every minute of it!!!  I told Noah that I could totally be an elephant and have a 2-year gestation period.   I love being pregnant!  Our midwife, Janet, says we are in the short time.  That is what she calls it when we go to once-a-month visits to visits every two weeks.

25 weeks

We moved last week from our first apartment as a married couple to our first house as a married couple.  Although I was happy to move to a bigger place with hardwood floors (yeah!), I was sad to see the little apt go.  We have a lot of memories from there and it was really good to us.  But I am NOT having a baby in an apartment! And I don't mean raise a baby in an apartment, because I see nothing wrong with that.  I just don't feel comfortable actually having our home birth there.  I need open space, and the new house definantly has that.  Thank you everyone who were praying for/with us about the new house.  I wanted to step into a house and feel comfortable and have God's peace about it.  And God has given us both that!  He has provided a wonderful place that we love and can see ourselves raising our family at for as long as God has us in San Antonio.

We started our birthing classes with a doula named Brenda Minica.  And we love it!  She is a super sweet lady and her classes are so informative.  But best of all it is Christ-centered teaching.  We talk about everything through God's eyes and dealing with fear, doubt, and emotions with scripture and prayer.  Our midwife suggested her and I am so glad she did.  We are learning so much! 

It is amazing the people God has brought to us during this pregnancy to teach us and to encourage us.  I am so thankful and feel super blessed! I don't know how people do life without God.  I would be a mess! Not that I am not anyway, but I have God to keep me on track.  And I need Him!

Rescue

This is one of my favorite songs that I am listening to.  I thought I would share the lyrics, because they are just so powerful in God's Truth.

You are the source of life

I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of You

I need You Jesus, I need You Jesus



My heart is Yours for life
I need Your hand in mine
No one else will do
Lord I put my trust in You


I need You Jesus to come to my rescue
Where else can I go?
There's no other Name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

My heart is Yours for life
I need Your hand in mine
No one else will do
Lord I put my trust in You

This world has nothing for me (I will follow You)

Audio of the song

A Prosperious Future

God is so great! We recently had a very joyous thing happen is our lives.  And I can't praise God enough for it.  Truly his plans are not our plans, but are better.  I thank God for this opportunity.  I can't say details, but I just wanted to give it up to God for being....God.  Its all summed up in my favorite verse....

"I say this, because I know what I am planning for you', says the Lord.  'I have good plans for you,not plans to hurt you.  I will give you hope and a good future"  Jeremiah 29:11

God Moments

I love it when you are having a regular day and then God shows up and makes it special!  That just happened to me, while I was working out.  I was listening to music and "Healer" by Kari Jobi came on, and I found myself crying and worshiping God before I knew it.  It is in those moments that I see God's face and fall in love with Him all over again.  Love it!

True Healing

Time doesn't heal all wounds,

that only comes through Jesus Christ!

God Thoughts

You make all things Good!

Be Still and Know that I am God!...Psalm 46:10

Taste and See that the Lord is Good!...Psalm 34:8

Sing a New Song unto the Lord!.....Psalm 96:1