Playing the Waiting Game

Well, the house is ready and we got all the supplies and such that we need for the big day.  All we are waiting on now is God's sweet timing.  Not that I want to hurry up the process.  We're just so excited to meet this kid.  I can't wait to get to know him/her and see what kind of person he/she will turn out to be. 

The other day Noah decided that we needed plants in the house to help with my experience during labor and I think he went a little overboard.  Not that I am complaining, the house does look better, because of the plants.  And a lot of the ones we got actually filter the air in the room.  So it was best that we got them anyway!



Plus, I would never have met Penny.  Penny is my beautiful little cactus that resides by my bed.  She is a simple cactus, but she brightens my day and makes me smile.  Hopefully, she will help me to process the 'ole labor pains better! Only time will tell.

Penny

Learning to Unlearn

An exert from In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson.

"Almost like a hard drive with a computer virus, our minds have infected files.  Irrational fears and misconceptions keep us from operating the way we were designed to.  And if those fears and misconceptions aren't installed, they undermine everything we do.

Half of learning is learning.  The other half of learing is unlearning.  Unfortunately, unlearning is twice as hard as learning.  It's like missing your exit on the freeway.  You have to drive to the next exit and then double back.  Every mile you go in the wrong direction is really a two-mile error.  Unlearning is twice as hard, and it often takes twice as long.  It is harder to get old thoughts out of you rmind than it is to get new thoughts into your mind.

That is the challenge Jesus faced, isn't it?

If you study the teachings of Christ, you'll realize that learning wasn't His primary goal.  His primary goal was unlearning.  He was reverse engineering religious minds.  And those can be the toughest minds to change.  That is why two phrases are repearted over andover again in the Sermon on the Mount.

'You have heard that is was said...'
'But I tell you...'

What was Jesus saying and doing?  He was uninstalling Old Testament concepts and upgrading then with New Testament truths.

'You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'  But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person.  If someone strikes you on the cheek, turn to him the other also.'  Matthew 5:38-39

...Half of spiritual growth is learning what we don't know.  The other half is unlearning what we do know.  And it is the failure to unlearn irrational fears and misconceptions that keep us from becoming who God wants us to be."

I related this to my fears of labor.  I had a lot of fear tied up in pain and the unknown.  It took me while to even recognize the fear that I was holding on to.  But once I did, God was able to reprogram my mind to trust Him and depend upon His understanding. 

I also find this true in my spiritual walk as well.  There were many concepts and 'rules' that I had to unlearn.  Being a christian is really simple.  Love God with all your heart and love others the same.  But sometimes we over complicate things, because of our humanity.  We make up "rules", because it makes us feel secure. When we should be finding our security in Christ and not "laws".   

Not Alone

I was reading my bible this morning and I came across this verse...

"Then your light will shine like dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal.  Your God will walk before you, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.  Then you will call out, and the Lord will answer.  You will cry out, and He will say, 'Here I am."  - Isaiah 58:8-9

It is so comforting to know that even before this labor comes or anything in life that God love me/us enough to go before us and prepare the way for us.  Before we ever get to where we are going, He already has the conditions perfect and ready for us.  Not only that, but He is there with us the whole time.  Never leaving us.  Always there to shield us from harm and to comfort us in times of weakness and trouble.  That is a great and loving God! I can't imagine going through all of this without Him.  I can't imagine being alive in this world without Him!

My Fears

I am on assignment to list my fears of the labor to come.  And then pray and give it all to God. So, I'm scared that.....

• the pains of labor will be too much or more than I anticipate
• I won't be able to relax my body for pain relief and for an easier labor
• I will be fearful in general (I'm afraid of being afraid)
• all the attention on me will bother me and hinder my labor process
• I may have to have a C-section or go to the hospital (this scares me the most)
• that I will be too worried or concerned about other people's comforts and feeling present than focusing on the labor process
• that I will hit a wall where I feel like I can't go on any further
• I will stress out if the baby doesn't come by the due date

And even now, I cry while writing this.  I don't know if its fear that I cry or shame for the fears that I have.  I know they are perfectly normal, but I guess I can't be strong Wonder Woman all the time.  And that's the part that bugs me the most, I think.  I've always thought of myself as a strong woman and going through all of this makes me realize how vulnerable I really am.  This is altogether not a bad thing, because it has really created a deep dependence in me for God and his strength and peace and comfort.  I have prayed more about fear and comfort now then in my whole life. 

So, God give me peace and comfort.  Teach me to meditate on your word that I might draw strength from it.  Help me to trust myself and this labor in your extremelly capable hands.  I know that you have a perfect time for this labor and I pray that I may surrener to it.  Thank you for giving me Noah! He has been a pillar of strength for me and I can't imagine going through this without him.  Thank you that he is a great man of God and I can always count on him for the Truth.  Thank you for both of our families being Christians and praying us through all of this. Their support has created a strong foundation for the success of this birth and child.  Thank you for all of your blessings now and to come.