- the pains of labor will be too much or more than I anticipate
- I won't be able to relax my body for pain relief and for an easier labor
- I will be fearful in general (I'm afraid of being afraid)
- all the attention on me will bother me and hinder my labor process
- I may have to have a C-section or go to the hospital (this scares me the most)
- that I will be too worried or concerned about other people's comforts and feeling present than focusing on the labor process
- that I will hit a wall where I feel like I can't go on any further
- I will stress out if the baby doesn't come by the due date
And even now, I cry while writing this. I don't know if its fear that I cry or shame for the fears that I have. I know they are perfectly normal, but I guess I can't be strong Wonder Woman all the time. And that's the part that bugs me the most, I think. I've always thought of myself as a strong woman and going through all of this makes me realize how vulnerable I really am. This is altogether not a bad thing, because it has really created a deep dependence in me for God and his strength and peace and comfort. I have prayed more about fear and comfort now then in my whole life.
So, God give me peace and comfort. Teach me to meditate on your word that I might draw strength from it. Help me to trust myself and this labor in your extremelly capable hands. I know that you have a perfect time for this labor and I pray that I may surrener to it. Thank you for giving me Noah! He has been a pillar of strength for me and I can't imagine going through this without him. Thank you that he is a great man of God and I can always count on him for the Truth. Thank you for both of our families being Christians and praying us through all of this. Their support has created a strong foundation for the success of this birth and child. Thank you for all of your blessings now and to come.
