My Fears

I am on assignment to list my fears of the labor to come.  And then pray and give it all to God. So, I'm scared that.....

• the pains of labor will be too much or more than I anticipate
• I won't be able to relax my body for pain relief and for an easier labor
• I will be fearful in general (I'm afraid of being afraid)
• all the attention on me will bother me and hinder my labor process
• I may have to have a C-section or go to the hospital (this scares me the most)
• that I will be too worried or concerned about other people's comforts and feeling present than focusing on the labor process
• that I will hit a wall where I feel like I can't go on any further
• I will stress out if the baby doesn't come by the due date

And even now, I cry while writing this.  I don't know if its fear that I cry or shame for the fears that I have.  I know they are perfectly normal, but I guess I can't be strong Wonder Woman all the time.  And that's the part that bugs me the most, I think.  I've always thought of myself as a strong woman and going through all of this makes me realize how vulnerable I really am.  This is altogether not a bad thing, because it has really created a deep dependence in me for God and his strength and peace and comfort.  I have prayed more about fear and comfort now then in my whole life. 

So, God give me peace and comfort.  Teach me to meditate on your word that I might draw strength from it.  Help me to trust myself and this labor in your extremelly capable hands.  I know that you have a perfect time for this labor and I pray that I may surrener to it.  Thank you for giving me Noah! He has been a pillar of strength for me and I can't imagine going through this without him.  Thank you that he is a great man of God and I can always count on him for the Truth.  Thank you for both of our families being Christians and praying us through all of this. Their support has created a strong foundation for the success of this birth and child.  Thank you for all of your blessings now and to come.